


Stasis

by bokutoes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 04:57:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6360277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokutoes/pseuds/bokutoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s no new letters for you this year. No post cards or greeting cards. Nothing out of the ordinary except your bills and other important documents from work or random—things—it had been like that for the last two years. There were no new letters for you and you always hoped he’d remember you always hoped that you hadn’t become some distant memory in his dreams or a box of old goodies that was gathering dust under his bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stasis

1.  
You looked through the window that day. It was just an innocent peek you took to check the weather for the day. It was bright and sunny, and the plants on your window sill looked quite happy today.

You looked down at them before you picked up your little, green watering can as you walked off to your kitchen to fill it with water. You returned to the window and you watered your plants.

You look out the window once more, taking in the fresh spring air and the sights the city had to offer. It was fast paced and surging. You used to go with the flow before. Nowadays, you felt so out of it. Perhaps it was the want for something new or the crawl of redundancy settling into your bones. It felt mundane. It felt boring. It felt like you were stuck in a rut you can’t get out of. You were following a lull in your life where every day seemed the same and boring and you wondered—was Tokyo supposed to feel like this?

It was so promising before.

Now it seemed so dead.

 

2.  
Your neighbor was a man named Akaashi Keiji. He was beautiful in your eyes—soft curling hair and the tired eyes together with his pale skin and soft features. He was like a work of art with his soft muscles and graceful form. Standing beside him, you feel a little small. Even if you are taller than Akaashi, you’re thinner and lanky. Choppy, sloppy movements coupled in with the long limbs that offered the same sort of beauty—however you lacked in grace.

Akaashi was everything you are not, and you wondered: if you were just like him, would he have stayed?

You mull over the thought in the moments in the morning wherein Akaashi asks you for some milk. He looked tired, but happy. You felt a pang of envy but you stifled it. Out of everyone in your apartment complex, it was only Akaashi that you were friends with as he was not as loud or annoying as the rest of the tenants.

 

3.  
Yamaguchi asks you if you had plans to switch up your choice of flowers. You take a look at the vase he was staring at and you shrug. Pale pink roses were…a staple to your house, so to say. It matched the aesthetics you had set up: most of your items had been white with a burst of color here in there. You thought it looked pretty and in the mornings, it’s what made you feel happy despite feeling quite…empty. Yamaguchi gives you a strange look and you shrug it off. He says something about your apartment being meticulously cared for.

You make your way to the kitchen and your brew yourself a cup of coffee. You set aside a cup for Yamaguchi and you return to your living room with a tray in hand and you laid them down on the empty spot on your coffee table—in between all the magazines and photographs and work books you had scattered around your table. You ignore the couch and you went straight to sitting on the rug beside Yamaguchi, laptop wide open as you began to work. It was the only thing you knew how to do, nowadays.

 

4.  
You check the messages on your answering machine each night. It’s part of your routine now. After you get home and kick off your slippers, you ditch your work bag by the coat rack and you always went straight to the telephone. You would have pressed the button and you would have heard the beep. You would have felt disappointed when there were no messages for you. You wonder where he was now and how he was doing—was he enjoying the sights and sounds of the world? You push another button. The answering machine informs you that you have one saved message.

You open it and the sound of his voice fills the room. You close your eyes as you listened. You imagined where he would have been and who he may have been with—you imagined what his face may have looked like as he spoke to the you that had not been there. You take a shaky breath and the message comes to an end. The answering machine tells you that it if over. You turn on your heel and head to the kitchen to get dinner started.

 

5.  
One of your friendly neighbors, Nishinoya Yuu, had always insisted you join him and Tanaka for one of their volleyball parties at flat 15. It occurred yearly, whenever team Japan went up against an international competitor and Nishinoya always invited everyone on the floor. Apparently, Akaashi always attended together with other boisterous personalities such as Sugawara Koushi and Sawamura Daichi from flat 2 and a beefy man named Yamamoto Taketora from flat 5. There were residents from the other floors as well that you aren’t familiar with. All of them were volleyball enthusiasts, apparently, and you always tagged along. You gave the excuse that you weren’t interested in it, but you came to help Akaashi and Sugawara set out the snacks and make the drinks while everyone else was in the living room yelling and cheering.

You pause to look up whenever number 6 was called. You watch the screen with hope rising in your chest and you see his face filled with fiery passion and concentration as he shuts out the opponent with his blocks. You return to creating the snacks after that and you serve it—it is when you return the kitchen that Akaashi has stealthily placed himself beside you and he pats your back.

You like that number 6 a lot. I see you always pausing to watch him. You must be a big fan, He says and you nod meekly. Akaashi is quiet as he works on the snack he was making before he speaks up again. _My boyfriend is number 4 in the same team._

You aren’t sure what to think of with Akaashi’s words and you shrug it off in favor of mixing the iced tea. Later that night, you wondered if you should have told Akaashi why you were so fixated on number six in the first place.

 

6.  
There’s no new letters for you this year. No post cards or greeting cards. Nothing out of the ordinary except your bills and other important documents from work or random—things—it had been like that for the last two years. There were no new letters for you and you always hoped he’d remember you always hoped that you hadn’t become some distant memory in his dreams or a box of old goodies that was gathering dust under his bed. You wonder if he ever has plans to come see you or if he ever has plans to come home—so you wait. You wait for his words or his voice. You wait for any signs of him coming to you before you make a move.

You’re stuck in a rut and you’re bored with your life but you don’t want to move because—what if he came back? You wanted to be there when he did.

 

7.  
Akaashi came to your doorstep with a stupid smile one day. He told you Bokuto Kourato—Jersey number 4 on team Japan—was coming over to stay with him for the holidays. A pang of jealousy filled your chest—but you smothered it as soon as it came because obvious Akaashi and Bokuto were still talking. It was evident on the stupid smile on his face—Akaashi wanted you to join for Christmas eve as well, to spend time with him and Bokuto of course and it turns out jersey number 6 was going to be there as well as the rest of the team and you paled. You felt a little sick with the notion as both dread and excitement filled you and you wondered if it was a good idea to tag along but you say yes.

You say yes despite the sinking feeling in your stomach because you could never say no to Akaashi and it was a break from your mundane life. You phone Yamaguchi that evening, to tell him you won’t be going back to Miyagi with him and Yachi that Christmas because you have plans with Akaahi but you promise you would be there for new years.

You wonder if you took the right step.

 

8.  
You went Christmas shopping with Akaashi and the both of you had gone to some novelty store. They sold things from wall decoration to over prices notebooks and quirky socks. They sold customizable pens and electronics and you found yourself smiling at a cute pair of cat mittens that was paired with a beanie and Akaashi wanders his way over to where you were—owl products in his arms.

 _Who are those for?_ He asked you and you stifle your smile as you placed them back on the display.

 _No one special. I just thought they were cute,_ you lied through your teeth as you moved on to the next display. Deep in your mind, you could picture what his reaction would have been had you gifted that to him for Christmas after feeding him his favorite grilled mackerel. You wondered if he would have gathered you in the same bear hug he usually gave you back when the both of you were still together. You wondered—

You wondered whether the both of you would still be the same when you met each other again. Would he have treated you as a stranger?

 _You know, Kuroo—jersey number 6—would like that a lot. Just in case you want to buy your idol a present,_ Akaashi told you and you just shrugged.

 _I only thought it was cute,_ You lied though your heart says otherwise.

 

9.  
Bokuto was bright and lively when you met him by chance one day—when you came over to Akaashi’s for dinner. He was wide eyed and handsome—he was on the muscular side too. He reeked of an aura that screamed he was an ace. Laid back, yet inspirational. Each time team Japan went on their eyes were always on Jersey number 4—Bokuto Koutaro. Ushijima Wakatoshi was a fearsome spiker and Bokuto often his decoy, however his aura always turned heads away from Ushijima during critical moments and Bokuto often took them by surprise when their attention had shifted to Ushijima.

He reminded you of what he was like before—powerful, inspiring, and simply breath taking. Bokuto was real and he was right before you. He was not some distant figure he saw on a television screen any more. While _he_ was a distant figure you saw on the television. Someone who used to be real but had long since become a myth. Bokuto was cheerful in the many times he had talked to you and he seemed to ever run out of things to talk about. Akaashi was a great listener, and an amazing pessimist and their dynamic strangely reminds them of what you used to be.

Regardless, dinner was a refreshing thing and the three of you found yourselves on the couch binge watching romcoms Akaashi had downloaded off the internet and Bokuto was going some cheesy re-enactments. Akaashi was not laughing but his amusement was obvious on his face with his endearing smile and it made you sick.

You were tired of waiting.

 

10.  
On the day before Christmas Eve, Akaashi came to visit you. He handed you a present. You took it carefully and you disappeared into your apartment to get what you had bought for him. You handed it to him and he stood there still, present in hand as he watched your face with his silent gaze. It felt as if he were striping you down. _I hope you like your present,_ he tells you quietly and you tilt your head to the side.

 _Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s good Akaashi,_ you reassure him. He mulled over your words for a moment before he nodded and took a step back.

 _I’ll see you tomorrow for Christmas eve, Tsukishima._ He says, and you greeted him the same in return. You come over to where you had left his present for you on your coffee table and you picked it up. It was a thing, rectangular box wrapped with some festive gift wrapper. There was a simple message from Akaashi tacked to is and you tore it off and stuck it to your table before you ripped it right open to reveal the present. Once the wrapping had been reduce to shreds on the floor, you took one good look at the present you were given and you felt a punch to your stomach.

Cat mittens with the matching beanie.

 

11.  
You fiddled with your bag of presents and you wondered if the rest of the members on Team Japan would have like the things you had picked out for them. Akaashi had been there to guide you with your decision making and he often assured you that your choices had been correct, however, you still felt quite anxious. Akaashi and Bokuto were suppose to pick you up that evening before heading to the Team Japan party and so you stood under the bus stop in front of your apartment complex while waiting for Akaashi’s little Toyota to come around.

You hear a honk and you look up to see the car in question approaching. Akaashi was in the driver’s seat and Bokuto was sitting shotgun. They came to a halt by the bus stop you were waiting under and you made a move to open the passenger’s seat but someone had beaten you to it. You grimace as you crouched over to enter and you cram in your bags filled with present and you shut the door beside you and Akaashi starts the car again. You fasten the seatbelt and move around a little more to settle yourself in for the ride and you could feel a pair of eyes watching your every movement.

You stop. You lean back and take in a deep breath. You close your eyes. You fold your hands on your lap before you locks your fingers together. You opened your eyes and turn to look out the window, ignoring the other occupant sitting beside you.

 _Ignoring me now, are ya?_ Your seat mate accused and you turn your head violently to whip up a reply and your breath catches in your lungs and your words die in your throat. _K – K – Kuroo—!_ You stammer out and your face turns pale as he smirks at you. There’s a swirl of emotions bubbling up within you hest and you snuff them out to the best of your abilities however they would not go away.

 _Surprise, sweetheart. Did you miss me?_ He teased you with a laugh and Akaashi looks at your curiously from his rear view mirror. Bokuto makes an obscene sound as he whips his head back to look at the both of you.

 _You’re Kei?!_ He yelled out, his surprise filling the car. You flinch and you look at Akaashi pleadingly. He catches your gaze and he stops the car.

 

12.  
It was cold. It nipped at your face and your nose and your cheeks. You feet hurt from how hard it was thumping against the pavement in your nice winter boots and you miss the feeling of wearing the sneakers you once wore back in high school—when you were once on some small volleyball team. You were forgotten after college—you went on to play volleyball leisurely with some of your friends and former teammates once in a while. Tetsurou stilled played volleyball professionally even after college. You had lived together then until he decided to move away after getting into the national team and that was the last you had seen of him physically. There were letters, and phone calls, and video calls on skype but none had done it’s job in keeping the two of you as close as you should have been. The distance grew further, and it caused a strain on your relationship and the both of you were growing more and more tired and you wondered—why had you even bothered waiting all those years?

It has been three and a half years after his last phone call.

Three years after his last letter.

Your life had gone stale with so many missed opportunities and you wonder: why were you dumb enough to wait and believe that he was coming back?

 

13.  
The party was in full swing around you with most of the volleyball players hanging around the dinner table or the mini bar in Ushijima Wakatoshi’s family home. Akaashi had been swept up with the crowd as he hung around the others who seemed to flock around him while Tetsurou and Bokuto were gathered with Ushijima and a few other people. You were alone on the couch in the blissful company of yourself and the mug of hot chocolate that you had managed to swipe before they all disappeared. You listened in to the buzz of everyone that had been interacting and when you looked up from your cup you observed the Christmas tree before you.

Ushijima’s tree was simply amazing. You appreciated the fact that the designer had crusted some snow on it with some pale blue glitters mixed it. The branches had been shaped to create a circle—where it framed two snowy owls in the center, snuggled together under a singular glittering star. There had not been any other decorations other than those three and a part of you was tempted to snap a photo of it. You knew to do so otherwise. You figured that the ace of the Japan team wouldn’t appreciate it.

You were content to stare at it, looking at how snuggled the owls were in their little cove where they looked happy simply being snuggled together. A warm feeling bubbles within your chest. Happy.

You smile.

 

14.  
_Can I stay the night?_ Tetsurou asked you, as the both of you ascended the stairs slowly, heading back to your apartment. He was probably too tired to head back home after the Christmas party at Ushijima’s. You paused and you turn to look back at him, your face neutral. He looked hopeful, perhaps, at the thought of seeing the apartment the both of you had once shared. Maybe he had wanted to see it after a long time of his being gone and somehow—the thought of him staying the night—even if it were only for a little while—a part of you felt complete.

 _Sure,_ you respond and the both of you head up the stairs and back into the little apartment that was small and cramped and white with your little accents of color and with Tetsurou standing by the door in his red coat and black pants and his messy hair peeking out from under that cat beanie—he looked like the sun.

His eyes swept over the room and you took your place by the window sill beside the vase of pale pink roses and you lean against it watching him look at how meticulous you’ve kept the place tidy and unchanged despite all the years that had gone by. His eyes finally sweeps across your frame and he stops. He smiles. You smile back.

**Author's Note:**

> There's some words that were left unsaid so it's up to you to guess what they were!
> 
> I've been pretty stressed with my thesis lately so I went on a binge writing spree. This was a food warm up to stay in shape as well as a way to de-stress.


End file.
